How is one hundred percent purity obtainable? I have played many video games in the past and all I had to do was quests and click a few buttons to obtain experience, skill points and honor. It seems as if it could be that easy. I think it can be obtainable to an extent(lets say 90 percent purity). Since last July the road to purity took some tremendous leaps and downfalls.
I have been struggling to keep the faith and fight the good fight. I've had to sleep outside a couple occasions because of my idiocy. Once the campus crusade guys left I started to stumble and fall because I didn't have a solid foundation of Christian brothers and sisters. The enemy seems to know where I am the weakest and continually attacks that portion of my mind, body and soul. I know that I can be super-victorious in Christ. I know that I can return my mind into a healthy, loving and care-giving demeanor. I know it will just take 100 percent trust in the Lord. And 100 percent trust in myself.
I found myself in the drunk-tank a couple months ago for some child-like antics. Inside it was another eye-opener of where alcohol can bring me. Of what it can do to me. Of how it can ruin my life. I was reminded a while ago that If I commit any type of jail able offence I could face up to 3 years in prison. That really doesn't sound like fun to me. So most recently one of my good friends brought me out of my routine of foolishness and brought me back to reality. That is to live as Christ lives. To love as our amazing God loves. And to act as a Godly man in all that I do or say.
We found ourselves over at the Providence Hospital late at night because the downtown Church (The Holy Family Cathedral) was closed. I remember going inside and praying for a while and I read all of 1st John. It was such a relief and afterwards my friend bought me a necklace of a cross. To continue to remind myself of what Christ did on the cross for me. What He did in the past. And that He is faithful to finish what He has started.
I felt awake and aware. Knowledgeable of my past and a little confused about my future. I visited folks and felt the spirit tugging at my heart.
Just one moment and then it all went downhill.
I need to find out these patterns in my life and become more aware when I am turning towards another episode. I'm sure it is possible. I do want to go to Heaven. I do want to do great works. I just need another miracle. Lord. Help me in my place. Shine your light into my mind, heart and soul to continue to follow your laws. I Love You. I need You. I want more of You. Never leave me or forsake me!
I don't know if my life will always be cycling between the good parts of me and the bad parts of me. I know that Now I do have a future as I completed a semester of college that led me to finally graduate with a college degree. From prisoner with no hope to a humble Christ follower with a college degree. I have seen change. God IS working in me and in others around me. Lord help me not to forget what you have already shown me and done for me. I have heard of miraculous healings. I have seen them myself. Miracles are REAL.
If you don't think you can conquer your trials. Place it on the foot of the cross. Let go and Let God.
Yes. I say this. Yes. I pray this. But will I not stumble? Will I not be pure? Will I always be pure in the sight of our Lord Jesus Christ? I sure hope so.
