Memento Mori
We have to remember that we are going to die.
I was just surfing the internet when all of a sudden many realizations came into my line of thought. I was first told that one of my friends that I used to play a video game with (I knew him very little) but some of my other friends that I played this video game with knew him very deeply died.
What was his name?
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Andrew Harley Jones, 23, died May 28, 2010
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This was a man of deep thought. He reflected on his morality. He reflected on life and its little nuances that we come into play with. I know that If I keep making these little connections in my life with others I will fall into some sort of insanity. As AJ said he was going to go insane. Here is a entry from AJ's blog:
Thursday, May 14, 2009
 | Lately I've noticed that everday things become more and more trivial to me. Things that I do on a day to day basis become foreign, and I become overwhelmed with dissociation. It's like when you repeat a word outloud over and over, it starts to lose meaning and just becomes a strange noise. To me, this is frightening because everyday I enter this state of mind more often and I think eventually nothing will make sense to me. I imagine this is how crazy people think before they go completely insane. |
About the time of his death (I was totally unaware of his death until today) I was searching the internet about the serial killer Berkowitz.
It was interesting to me that during the time of his death I was looking up this name of Elliot Smith (One of his songs is Son of Sam and many know that Son of Sam was another alias Berkowitz used in some of his letters) that this name came into my life. Berkowitz was the alias that Mr. Andrew Harley Jones used when we played Counter-Strike together (Our clan name was [MM] or Muktuk Mafia.) The thing about [MM] was that we were all Native or associated with Alaskan Natives. And all our alias' were attributed to many well known "sociological terrorists"... i.e. Berkowitz , Kaczynski (This was my alias) and a few others.
What really made me get the urge to write about this was that on AJ's facebook page.. three days before he died he wrote one simple word.
Andrew Jones Jesus
3:44 AM May 25
Did he finally find his true savior? This could relate to our own personal "delusions" be it The God Delusion or be it the Atheist/Agnostic Delusion. AJ knew about some sort of "
delusion" that was going on. Apparently we are in a "delusion tug of war" He posted...
Saturday, March 07, 2009
| Lately I've been noticing that everyone lives in their own little reality. Everyones reality has its own rules and delusions. They perceive everything differently and I've noticed in a village, the delusions are far more extreme. I don't know what causes this. It seems like the littlest things can be blown way out of proportion. I personally think it's how televisions kind of forms our lives. People use what they see on TV as a template for their lives and expect things to be that way. For most people reading this, thats complete bullshit, but I've seen enough of it to vouch that it's pretty accurate for most people. I ground myself with interviews with Frank Zappa. In one of his last interviews in 1993 he said, "It's not important to be remembered. It's not important to even be remembered. I mean the people that worry about being remembered are guys like Reagan, Bush. These people want to be remembered and they'll spend a lot of money and do a lot of work to make sure that remeberance is just terrific." He just strikes me as so human. He's just so good at remembering to be a human being rather than something that we aren't. I've always felt that we, as human beings, always try to get away from the fact that we are human beings. We push ourselves to forget what we are and we surround ourselves with possessions and create our own delusions. I was never a terribly big fan of Frank Zappa's music, but I was and will always be a big fan of him as a human being. |
I understand that correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation. But ever since I have been saved. I have been seeing things. I have been feeling feelings. I have been in touch with a "super-reality" but in a sense others see me a delusional. Are we all dissociated with our own personal realities?
Lights change for me. Buses arrive when I tap into "The Holy Spirit." I have seen spirits. I have felt the "enemy". I have felt the gentleness of our savior giving me a slight pat on the stomach. I have seen the spirit twirl before my eyes. I have smelled the heavenly essence. I have found my own "disassociation" beyond the drugs that I used to use to tap into a delusion. Others say I'm Schizophrenic. I say I am a Believer.
I'm sure you have found Jesus. I'm sure that there was a underlying reason for all your intellectual sufferings. And that was for your moral compass to be pointed in the right direction. That was Jesus. I pray that you are traveling through your mind's past and reflecting as deeply as you once did and will continually walk those mountains showing others the way to their truth.
"Andrew Harley Jones, 23, died May 28, 2010 as a result of a hiking accident along Turnagain Arm."
He loved to hike. He reflected on his daily walk as well.. this story seems less vibrant though...
Friday, February 05, 2010
| As I walked down the dark road, I knew it traveled into oblivion. But I continued walking. The black trees stood tall along both sides of the road as if passing judgment on whoever traveled. The artificial glow from town started to fade and the stars begin to reveal themselves from hiding. Once I was far enough away from town I stopped walking and listened; absolute silence. I cocked my head back and watched the sky. The previous night, I had seen a light falling slowly toward the horizon, flashing at seemingly random intervals. It had looked like a piece of glitter floating through the air only reflecting light when it was willed. The glitter would not present itself to me this night, so I shifted my focus to the Northern Lights exposing a slight silhouette of the Cosmos Hills. To the East these lights had puddled up in the distance. I had pretended that they had gathered to witness the view from a particular bluff above the Kogoluktuk River where we had gathered a year ago to do the same. Pleased with this thought I began walking back from which was now a nightly pilgrimage to nowhere. |
You now walk in the path of lights. No darkness surrounding. No judgement. Just purity. I know that I cannot make assumptions from your writing. But all these connections within my mind are for a reason. To strengthen my Faith. Even though it may seem minuscule to some. These associations are major in my life. Now that I have found my truth. As AJ possibly did the three days before he passed away from this world the reality of death surrounds my heart.
Memento Mori
Memento mori is a Latin phrase translated as "Remember you must die". It names a genre of artistic creations that vary widely from one another, but which all share the same purpose: to remind people of their own mortality.
RIP.
Obituary : http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/adn/obituary.aspx?n=andrew-jones&pid=143267248#ixzz0q2EpVE6P
